Answering questions co-workers have directed at me, making social media posts that slander co-workers, etc. — Ask your manager
5 answers to 5 questions. please…
1. A colleague interrupted to answer a question directed at me
I work as a paralegal. Ten of us are seated in a nearby private room. I have been here the longest (13 years) and am a “Lead Paralegal” and Trainer.
About a year ago I trained Christy, a new paralegal. She is very enthusiastic and I respect her for that. However, she’s been a little too enthusiastic lately, but is it just me being too sensitive? Almost every time someone (lawyer or other paralegal) comes to ask me a question, she pulls out of her private room (about 10 feet away from me), even though I’m right there. and answer for me. She literally forces herself into conversations with me and others. I think it’s very rude. I tend to pause before answering something, but she is energetic and answers quickly. Just today a colleague of mine came by and said, “Jill, I have a question.” Then Christy started talking, asked a question, and before I could answer, Christy answered.
Her answers were mostly correct, but I thought it was rude, so I talked to her privately. She said, “Well, you can participate,” but she said I didn’t have to participate in the questions addressed to me. She chimes after I answer. She didn’t seem to understand what the problem was, so the problem continues. She does the same with others. I see others noticing a tendency to fidget when they come to me for something. I feel like it robs me of the respect I’ve worked so hard to build up over the years. It seems like a trivial thing to her, so should I just suck it up and leave it alone or what should I say?
The next time she started answering a question directed at you, I would interrupt her and say, “I’m sorry, that question was directed at me and I would like to answer it.” If she says she’s just talking, she should say, “Let me answer the questions that are directed at me.”
However, if you’re comfortable working with this method, you probably already do…and I think it might feel a little aggressive since you haven’t yet. I want to assure you otherwise, it is assertive but not aggressive. (what Christie But I’m sure those who come specifically to talk to you will appreciate your assertiveness.
It’s annoying that Christy pushes you to be more assertive about boundaries than necessary, but that’s probably the only way she’ll learn not to be abusive in your conversations.
Note, however, that you’ll probably have to do this a few times before she gets the point. But even if she doesn’t, at least you’ll regain control of the conversation.
2. My terrible old colleague published a social media post defaming his colleague
I recently saw a post on a social media site by a former colleague (“Sally”). I still work at the same company that Sally worked for, but in a different department. After I retired, a new position was created. My former boss told me that the people hired for this role were great.
Sally’s posts are fully public and on social media sites that connect her with dozens of colleagues at our company, saying she has no patience for a particular person she works closely with and is dealing with her. It describes in detail how you are seeking advice for In her comments, she states how many months the person has been employed by the company, so she makes it clear who she’s talking about. There may be only one person in that small department.
Frankly, Sally was toxic. She made me miserable every time I had to work with her on something, which was frequent. I was mostly happy working in that department, but Sally was one of the main reasons I left her.
Should I anonymously report this post to my company’s human resources department, or should I care about myself? I hate to think.
You still work there and seem to be on good terms with your old boss, so why not sneak a note of that to her? “Oops, this is a public post and it’s clearly about Jane. I just wanted you to notice.” And in any case, that’s an issue for Sally’s boss to deal with, not HR.
3. I feel guilty about leaving my job
I am currently waiting to hear back about jobs that I believe have a good chance of being accepted. I try not to set my expectations too high, but I already feel some guilt about the possibility of retiring.
My current manager, Jane, has been in our office for about a year. I have three other colleagues. Kathy has been here longer than I have and she is good at her job. Marie has been here as long as I have (3 years) but she is not very good at her job. And Dana, she’s been here five months and she still hasn’t done half her workload because she’s still struggling with her job. I often have to help Dana and Marie.
I have no problems with Jane, but I feel guilty, especially since I don’t have anyone to back up my position, and it would put Jane in a tight spot if I quit. Cathy has too much work to do (Dana should be her backup and help, but no one seems to think she gets that far), and I want Jane to give Dana or Marie my job. I don’t think I’ll let
I know it’s too early, but is it normal to feel guilty like this?
Incredibly normal. It might be the biggest theme of all my email themes. Guilt about leaving a job is rampant.
But look, people quit their jobs. It is essentially part of a regular business course. Departures often come with some inconvenience, and when we are thinking of leaving, we often feel that it is not the right time to leave. That’s exactly what it is. However, just because it’s inconvenient or inconvenient doesn’t mean you shouldn’t quit, and you don’t have to feel guilty about quitting. Either way, the team will figure things out and move forward.
And, of course, Jane should have been working on Marie’s problem long ago. It’s not your fault she didn’t.
4. Should I skip school and teach English in Taiwan?
I’m from America, but now I’m in Taiwan. I came home almost finished my degree and came to visit a friend who teaches EFL.
Starting and stopping due to the influence of the new coronavirus infection, online classes, no classes, etc. I feel that I have been burnt out at school. I already have an Associate in Arts degree, but have been doing some research on working here and it looks like I can start teaching with my AA and TEFL. I recently completed a TEFL class and passed (yay!). Here’s a question. Should I skip school and teach English here for a year?
All my friends who are already here are encouraging me. Especially because you know how much I enjoy living here. And I think resting is going to be good for me. However, I am worried about whether I will be able to complete my degree. I have two semesters left. But I feel like I really need a break. how do you see things?
I would encourage you to go back and finish your degree now if you can. Two semesters aren’t long, and taking a year off can make it much harder to come back and finish. Because returning to the right mental state for school and life is harder than expected. Because life can have unexpected events that can hinder you later.
So if I can, I want to push myself to finish it now and get my degree. If you want, you can always come back to Taiwan to teach.
5. Is this money enough to quit the job you love?
For the past two years, I have worked for a company that I love. It’s a large organization and despite being quite young I am well known to many of our employees, including those in technical positions. I usually go to the office around 9:45. This is my preferred start time because I love to sleep. My co-founder knows my name and most of my teammates have become close friends. Also, I have a good work-life balance with enough paid time off. Most people I meet are kind, hardworking, and empathetic. Most of all, I feel like I can be myself at work. My company and team really feel like home.
My only problem is that the manager doesn’t seem interested in advancing my career. He feels like he wants to keep me as coordinator even though my performance ratings are consistently high. When I started working, he claimed that if I did well, I would be promoted to a specialist position in a year or so. However, when the time came, we hired people from outside. I was furious because he didn’t provide any negative feedback. When I asked him about this, he gave a very roundabout and nonsensical answer. I got a level promotion, which is nice, but what I really want is a title promotion and a corresponding salary increase.
Recently, a recruiter at another company contacted me about a job that pays a whopping 30% more than my current salary. I get a decent salary, but I’m a woman who values her money. Considering I have a related masters degree, this kind of raise is amazing and more in line with what I would expect. Also, the company seems to have a lot of opportunities for growth. The phone screening and subsequent phone call with the recruiter went so well that I was able to proceed to the onsite interview. An on-site interview might have been better (my face-to-face interview skills are a bit rusty). At this point, your guess is as accurate as mine as to whether I will get the job offer. But throughout this process, I’ve come to wonder, “How much money do I have enough to quit a job I love?” Is it stupid to leave a team or company you love just for the money? There’s no way to tell if you’ll like it as much without trying it. I worry that if I stay in my current role, I will never get promoted and will be stuck with a low salary.
We work for money, so 30% is a significant increase. It’s not stupid to quit a job you love and get a better paying job. As long as you do your due diligence at the place of relocation.
you have the advantage of not In need of Changing jobs means that you are in a strong position here. Digging into what the company, manager, and job is like (including talking to people who work there or have worked there) and thinking critically about whether you’re the right fit I can. You may be happy there.I’m not in a position where I need to jump in just because it’s necessary something.
But if you’ve done your due diligence and things look good, you should seriously consider it.
That being said… after two years it’s too early to conclude that you’ll never make it to the top. Usually people don’t get promoted until then. But if you’re seeing signs from your boss that you’re unlikely to get a promotion (and I’d definitely put “can’t explain what it takes to be promoted” in that category), other I think I’ll seriously consider the work of